sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Please don't give away my fajitas
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
