Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
