don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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