But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
