wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
