3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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