She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize