Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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