I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
