I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Your penis caused this!
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