I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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