She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Randomize
