you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
