Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We are all done wearing pants today
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
