It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
