Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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