The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
