Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she peed on how many people?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
