Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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