she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
me + whiskey = a bad person
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
