What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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