I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
