im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
