maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
In America we eat man semen.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
