ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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