flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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