the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
