Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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