try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
