already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
did you just send me my own nude
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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