he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
