if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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