winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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