I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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