is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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