It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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