I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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