Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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