I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
