How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
