his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize