i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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