He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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