apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
