i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
