I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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