Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
