The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
