Taylor Swift is so right about you.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
