Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
