So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
