Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
