stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
