What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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