But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
