She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
