wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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