420 ftw
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
