im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
