Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
