is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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