im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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