Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize