Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
