Where is the hickey?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
