The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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